Longing....

far yet so near       
i long to feel you
with each passing day the distance seems less yet unanswered
the winds seem to caress my face trying to tell me you are near
the clouds make way for the sunlight peeping through 
i can now feel you near yet not clear..

the twinkle in your eyes
the smile on your lips
each passed on to me through the wind

i hold that thought there for i no longer want to part from you

but the more i hold you,the more you slip
and me in my vain attempt in trying to grab you

as i see you close my heart grows fonder
a joy never felt by engulfs me
a joy which i  carry through..

Niagara..niagara..niagara :)))

Niagara Niagara Niagara ..Yeeeee !!!!!! That's were we went last weekend.and the plan was so spontaneous that we didn't even have time to Google more about the places close by in case we had time to see them.

But nevertheless,it was fun as the unknown is far better than the known..and in this case we didn't have any preconceived notions or thoughts about the place we were going to see.

The drive,an 'awesome' seven hours from our place.Well awesome yes if you are in good company and also because of the picturesque surroundings.For a first timer in US to witness the 'fall colour's' is  a delight,and beauty incomparable.To see natures foliage turning into myriad colors of red,orange,purple,yellow is pure pleasure and definitely wondrous !!!

In a typical Indian style of going for picnics with breakfast and lunch packed along with juices(Jeez !!well if you are an Indian you know what i mean) we had what Indians would call it colloquially a 'khata -peeta' trip.(Khata-peeta in Hindi means well fed )

All through the way we were already planning about the coming weekend and where to go next..Crazy right ?? But that's all that we can do on weekends in the US. Nothing better !!!

Our GPS showed us we were just about 2 miles from the falls...when we saw some kind of smoke at a distance on our right.We were on this bridge right over the river or the lake(at that point we weren't sure whether its a lake or a river,as i said we had no research done).What we thought was, probably its coming from some factory out there...but then again we dint see any building and wondered how the smoke was coming right up from the land..at least from a distance that's what it seemed.

However what was in store was completely startling and overpowering..When we reached our destination and parked our car we didnt realize what we were gonna see and how humongous it would be.As we led closer the very smoke now looked like 'mist' behind the trees.And once we crossed the trees what we saw was 'beauty incomparable'!!! Mother nature in all its fury,power,beauty cascading down .Words fall short to describe the beauty of the water...the mere green ,blue colours it reflects and the volume of water flowing per second.It was one of the most breathtaking experiences of my life and surely for all the first timers who have been to Niagara.The volume of water well explained the 'smoky mist' that we had seen from a distance.

View from the Maid of the mist boat ride

I stood there just in silence trying to absorb and sink in as much as i could of this mesmerizing beauty and realizing how powerful mother nature is and how teeny-weeny 'we' are.

There are times in your life when such realizations help you understand where you stand and that we mortals are self proclaimed powerful people with actually no power at all...

Coming back to the falls...what caught my attention is that of all the falls that i have seen in my life, i have stood at the bottom of the hill seeing the water cascade down.But here in Niagara ,the experience was different,because the water falls from the same level that you are down into the gorge ...so you have the luxury of seeing the water up close. Also the mere volume of water falling makes it one 'gigantic' fall.

Funny how my brain worked ,i thought "of all the 1/3rd water in the earth ,is it all here.." ;) Now before you draw conclusions on my intelligence lemme tell you i know that's not true,but that\s my way of expressing how much water was there..Clever me :))

On the Maid of the Mist boat ride

Now after this we went on to the boat ride called the 'Maid of the mist' which takes you right in to the gorge so you can have a better view of the fall which flows from the American side.Ya !! you read it right,it's called the american side falls because what you see on the other side of the gorge is Canada...And that's precisely the reason why people say that one should see the falls from the Canadian side to get a better view as the water flows towards their side. Nevertheless in my view if you go on the 'Maid of the mist' ride you have had  one of the best views of the fall..in that case no need to see it from the Canadian side.

Next we took the tickets for 'Cave of the wind' experience,which is where you get to stand right below one of the small falls called the 'Bridal Veil'.The ticket was worth the experience.Each drop of water splashing on to your face,as if washing you away of all the dirt that surrounds you and cleansing you from within..Beautiful Experience !!!

Cave of the winds

Now for all of you who are planning a trip to Niagara,please carry some extra clothing as after the cave of the wind experience you would be drenched,even though they provide you with a rain coat ..

And last but not the least don't forget to see Niagara in the night after sunset when they turn on the disco lights (red,green,blue etc) and the waters reflect these colors.The smoky mist still continues to give the effect of a factory even in the middle of the night.

Niagara in the night(consider looking at the smoky mist)

Reminds me of the lines from Robert Frost 'Birches'
                     
                              "It's when I'm weary of considerations,
                               And life is too much like a pathless wood
                               Where your face burns and tickles with cobwebs
                               Broken across it,and one eye is weeping
                               From a twig's having lashed across it open.
                               I'd like to get away from earth awhile
                               And then come back to it and begin over."

Aptly sums up what this trip did to me :)

Good people and Genuinely good people

Well ,well !!! here i am back again :) Had been busy with some other writings ...which surely will come up somewhere later in my blogs.

For a while now i have been quite observant about  the varied kinds of people we meet at different junctions of our life .some who become part of our memories and some who came just to teach us lessons  and the less few who were just faces...

All through these observations,what i came out with is something which i personally use as a yard stick to judge people or at least be cautious of.
We Indians are basically a bunch of gullible people.With our hearts on our sleeves, we let it melt with the slightest drop of a tear  to the point of empathy.Our vulnerabilities are no longer hidden ! The pathos that we go through is just incomparable. And the most important,we believe anyone and everyone who talks good,who treats us well and who even if back stabs but at least has a smiling countenance.We are one hell of EMOTIONAL FOOLS !!!
But that's the way we have been conditioned from the time we have know to feel or understand emotions.And the icing on the cake is we still don't learn from our mistakes...at least few of us.

When it comes to me judging people ,'the' one rule I have is ...people are either Good or Genuinely Good..

Ya!!! you read it write..

The first category of people are the ones who are loved and likened by many.Their mere charm and the ability to have facades all the time makes them the spotlight at any event go.But appearances are deceptive holds true and more for this class of people...because most of the times they carry an  ulterior motives and expect things in return...They are the ones who have a loud exterior and are garrulous to the point where the 'other' is forced to put cotton buds in his ear..;) They are virtual epitomes for  perfect human beings in any role they play in actual life.At least that's what they keep up to.The one and the most distinguishing thing about such class of people is the way they talk and express which is so refined.But less often when you see their true colours, would be in for a shock and astonished at the way they keep up appearances..the words they blurt out ,the kind of language they use....

The second category of Genuinely Good people are the ones who are not liked by all....BUT when it matters they are the ones who show their love and concern without any expectations..These people are not much into talks and believe in actions speaking louder than words.A friend for life ,they are the ones who are difficult to befriend.

Life teaches you lessons and if you incorporate them into yours, you grow into better people..Well i hope i have helped at least some of you to understand people and the level of closeness that one should share with them.Surely, the world is stuffed with these kind of people and we all have come across them,but the choice remains with us whether we want them to be a part of our  memory or to be just faces..

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The God I believe in !!!

'Conscience is a vehicle of Gods presence'

I am not an atheist ,nor am i an ardent devotee. I don't believe in the various religious dogmas and but i do believe in HIM. Some one without an image, all consuming and to whom i can talk to anytime without going to any of the those religious places.

Often i have come across people( most of the times close relatives) with at most love wanting me to escort them to temples,and i reluctant to say No(i know there would be many to join me in this) ,do end up going....Grrrrrrr...There are times when you have to keep up faces because you are expected to behave and answer in a certain way..Gosh !!!When will people realize that others need to be left with their own choices.

What i feel quite weird here is the fact that i don't belong to that school of thought where one believes in going to temples,churches or any such divine abode. That precisely brings me to my next point which is, why do people go to these places???Probably the reason being at the end of the day what one wants is to speak his heart out,introspect about himself and imagine and believe that there is a power or a presence above him who sees him all the time ,a guarding angel for some,a friend for others...and having an idol or a image makes it easier to express.This explains why some people are regular with their visits.But still it kind of hits me when i see/hear folks around me telling that your deeds will be rewarded by Him,or you need to continue with your prayers and one day your prayers will be answered...Come one!!!Do you think that's the way it works???Well if yes then good for you but just that you need to think and look around to see people who have lived a life of sanctity..are all of them having their prayers answered??

But there are definitely (or i suppose )people like me who believe that His answers are in your own conscience. Just that you need to close your eyes and think through and you would get your answers.But sometimes this so called conscience seems all dark and kind of misty..and that's the time you realize it's time to buckle up and analyse whats going wrong....

marital life..2yrs of mixed feelings

Hey new to blogging..come to think of it ..was always interested in words and word plays and was also into diary writing but probably it was the lazy me which kept me back from this.

Tying the Mangalsutra

Got married in 2009 feb 1st...that reminds me that my 2nd wedding anniversary is getting close and have to think of some surprises for my hubby,i like calling him P.

To write about my marriage,it was not one where i was put into a situation where i actually dont know my partner:D,luckily we had 7-8 months of courtship which kind of helped both of us know each other better..but in the present when i think of it i end up realizing that in those courtship dayss u actually try switching the best in you..

Those were days where both of us were completely hooked up with the phone..n luckily that didnt raise the monthly bills because as if a blessing in disguse we got an offer frm reliance where we could make free calls through out..n then well u can imagine..it went on fr like 6-7 hrs a day..Man!!!lucky we were right??Now when i think of it in retrospect those were D blissful dayss of our lives unknow to the ordeal of getting married and the journey after that,like an animal cartered off to slit his throat unaware of what is in store..

Not that i want to sound like one whose against marriages or that i am having any problems in my married life..but just that i guess girls like me who have enjoyed life to the core.. will be having similar feelings...

My parents are both working in reputed companies for the past 30yrs or so..and me and my sister(younger)have been blessed by the grace of GOD to have literally not come across much problems financially as well...to have a maid who would do the entire house cleaning ..so never was there a need of us taking that job..then a mom who is a perfectionist and would not allow us to get into the kitchen..(she had her reasons..u delay my work,dont touch this that")so better it was to not get into her domain..

Also school life left us with no time for such things..still cherish those dayss when we would be off to school by 7.15 in the morning and back by 1.45 or 2.thereafter tuitions or a small nap...cycling through the colony in the evenings..it was awesome!!!

From there on i spent my next 7yrs in hostel..completing my education and all.. so again was used to the ringing bells in the mess indicating it was time for the meal..after all this at last i got engaged...the next 7-8 months were with my parents cos my mom wanted me to gain weight before marriage ....i was more than happy because i knew these were the days which i get as a free bird without worrying about your husbad or inlaws ...this was my WORLD

When i got married after this ,we had our honeymoon in munnar..a beautiful place for a first timer.then two weeks after that we both came to hyderabad.yup thats the place wher my husband was working..initial weeks went in buying stuffs for the kitchen..and i didnt even know what all i needed :P..that was as if i was put in the middle of a sea and then told to swim my way out...Grrrrrrrrrrr...For the first couple of dayss we had our luncheon at P's relatives place..but then after it was my experimentations which found a way into his stomach..
and least to say...i was pathetic...the masala combinations were not gelling properly,i mean i felt like pulling my hair out..God!!!
And it was even pathetic to see P waiting eagerly to eat and then getting to eat these..i mean i felt miserable..n to worsen situations i had a maid who was like the most irregular person on earth..

In between i got a job..so was working and came back home by around5.

Sumtimes when the maid didnt land up and to see all the dishes waiting to be cleaned...i felt like Ghosh!!!!!is this what is good about marriage and sumtimes i ended up asking HIM...Why Me?????This was the worst part about getting married that u have to look after yourself..after being treated like a doll for years you now have to look after yourself aswell as your hubby,who will literally call you for everything..

But sumtimes in between those days we did have our share of enjoyments..a weekend outing,movies,eating out,going for holidays..and after those i felt like running from my duties..
Its also to do with a bit of a perfectionist in me(like my mom)which wants things to be tidy..

Now after so many months when i think of those dayss..i feel happy n proud that i could deal with them..even my parents wen they made a visit to our place were surprised to see how i keep my house clean and all..my mom i herd told her sister about what she expected it would be and what it turned out to be..
Even in terms of cooking i have improved a Lottt....though still in the learning process..

I just dont understand how come we find women who like that part of work...

But nevertheless.....its been a roller coaster ride so far...with God's grace..and hope the same in the years to come..